Pointillism

I want to go somewhere.
If I had known that the days only slip by, one at a time...
If I had known that life wouldn't just happen...
If I had known I had to do something...

But then again, I did. 
But it wasn't enough.
I'm still here.
I'm still me.
I feel the same as I ever was.

There was something in my head.
A picture of what I would look like, once I did something.
A picture of who I wanted to be, who I wasn't.
Yet. 
My favorite word.

There's something so much more, but the days are still just specks.
Glimpses of the entirety of a life.
I won't understand until it's gone. 
I'm too close.

I want to go somewhere.
I want to go forward.
I want to go farther.
I want to go home.