Too Easily Satisfied

"I find that when I think I am asking God to forgive me I am often in reality…asking Him not to forgive me but to excuse me. But there is all the difference in the world between forgiving and excusing. Forgiveness says 'Yes, you have done this thing, but I accept your apology...' But excusing says 'I see that you couldn't help it or didn't mean it; you weren't really to blame.' ...And if we forget this, we shall go away imagining that we have repented and been forgiven when all that has really happened is that we have satisfied ourselves with our own excuses. They may be very bad excuses; we are all too easily satisfied about ourselves."  

C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

My whole life, I thought I understood grace. But in my head, "grace" may have simply been my own self-imposed sense of personal justice. An explanation for my sin, rather than true repentance. A misplaced blame, rather than a confession of guilt. I wrap myself up in a lie that tells me I have nothing to be forgiven, because none of it was really my fault. How can I ever truly know grace, if this is the case?

I find myself, in the end, not satisfied enough. My understanding of grace will never satisfy. It's a mere bandage on the gaping wound of my sin, only healed by the true, holy, immeasurable power of His love and grace. He is all we need. His sacrifice is enough. That's the simple truth of it.